Hello December!

I am still in awe that it is December already, and it's not just the beginning of December...we are already mid-way through December.

Crazzzzzy!

I wanted to take a minute to simply just update what is going on in my life, especially because things have been non-stop go go go for me.

But I did get 5 minutes to sit down and just kind of ramble about things that have been happening, and what better way to do that than to Vlog it.

:)

30 Days of Thanks: Day 9:10:11 Vlog

Day 9:10:11

All wrapped into one.

I figured I would catch up on days 9,10, & 11 by vlogging about what I am thankful for.

Enjoy <3

30 Days of Thanks: Day 7 -Vlog

mind-FULL

Ever feel like you have so much on your mind that it makes you feel literally exhausted?

Unable to keep your eyes open.

Short of breath.

As if someone knocked the air out of you.

That sums up my day today.

I went to bed exhausted last night and woke up even more exhausted than I was yesterday.

I don't think my mind and thoughts took a break while I slept.

I woke up feeling stressed out.

Pit in my stomach.

Short of breath.

Not particularly how I wanted to start off my Monday.

Thing is none of it faded as the day went on. It increasingly got worse and worse.

To the point where when I got home I was just simply over the day.

I just wanted to erase today and move on to tomorrow.

I hate feeling like that.

I don't like feeling like I want to erase any day that I have.
I want to enjoy every single day I am blessed with, no matter the difficulties it brings sometimes.

But today I just felt completely OVER it.

When I got home, I felt like I wanted to do something to keep myself busy, because let's be honest I am always constantly doing something or going some where (just ask my family), and yet today I didn't have anything to do when I got off work.

I should have been thankful right?

But I wasn't at first. 

I felt like I was missing out on something.

So I looked for things to do...

- laundry

- cleaning my room

- checked my phone to see if I had any appointments that I didn't remember.

But, there was nothing in my calendar for tonight.

After I finished my laundry and cleaning I laid on my bed trying to think of something to do.

I grabbed my phone and decided to finish my reading for my small group.

After I finished my reading, it left me some what more relaxed than I had felt earlier.

I sat back and thought about the scripture I had read, and then I reflected on my day and all the worries and stresses that I let completely steal my day away from me.

I felt silly for allowing my past hurts and scars to creep in to today.

My life today is nothing like it was a year ago.

The people in my life, are nothing like the people from my past.

Today I am surrounded by friends and family who love me more than I could ever ask for.

I've been blessed with an amazing best friend who I can vent to about anything and everything and she brings me back down to Earth when I get all worked up over stresses or worries.

I've been blessed with a wonderful man who is so passionate for God and gives every part of himself to serve God and people.
He is so genuine and caring towards me, and I am constantly thanking God for bringing him into my life.

Looking back on all those positive notes about where I am today, makes me thankful that I had nothing going on tonight.
If I hadn't had that 'quiet' time to sit back and reflect on the good things in my life I would probably still feel overwhelmed and upset over today.

That 'quiet' time changed my perspective on today, because in reality today wasn't bad.
 I just simply let my worries and stresses steal away my day.

Thinking about all of the blessings in my life that I have to be thankful for helps bring me back down to Earth and out of the mindset of letting my worries/stresses overwhelm me.
I now feel as if I can breathe again.

The pit in my stomach is no longer there.

The tightness in my chest from the stress has loosened.

Sometimes when things get crazy, when your mind feels so full of junk and stress to the point that you feel overwhelmed, you just have to take a minute, sit down and take a deep breath in and focus on all the good in your life.

Don't let all the worries and stresses and negatives take over your day.

No day is worth wishing you could erase it.

Trust me, at the end of the day you'll wish you wouldn't have allowed your day to be wasted.

Thankfully for me, I still have 2 hours left of today to focus on all the good.

"what's my purpose..."

I'm sure I am not the only one who has wondered what their purpose in life is.

I recently went through an old journal of mine that I had completely filled with entries and thoughts from a few months ago and I came across an entry from about 10 months ago where I asked myself that question...

What is my purpose...

Why was I here on earth?

What was I meant to do?

Was I meant to make a difference?

Did I not have a purpose?

At the time I truly felt like I had no purpose in being here...I couldn't see what it was I was meant to do.

I didn't feel like I was really going to make an impact in any way, but I also know that I was also in a different place at that time in my life.

I was experiencing a really bad break up, but at the time I had no idea that it was going to shape me into the over the moon happy person I am today.

I had no idea that it was going to throw me head first into my faith and that I was going to experience so much growth with my relationship with God.

That it was going to cause me to truly figure out what I wanted to do with my life and where I wanted to go career wise.

Now, I still don't know the exact direction I want to go career wise with ministry...but I have a better idea now after having spent a week at junior high camp this past week.

It's amazing to me still how much life changes in such a short amount of time.

I of course vlogged about it, because hey...it's what I like to do.

<3

growth and strength thru the past 5 years...

Decided to vlog this entry instead of blogging it. It's easier for me to talk about it than it is to write it.

I'm still in awe at how far I've come in the past 5 years since I lost my momma in 2007.

I cannot express enough how incredibly thankful I am for each and every person in my life.

God has truly blessed me with an awesome support system.

<3