"what's my purpose..."

I'm sure I am not the only one who has wondered what their purpose in life is.

I recently went through an old journal of mine that I had completely filled with entries and thoughts from a few months ago and I came across an entry from about 10 months ago where I asked myself that question...

What is my purpose...

Why was I here on earth?

What was I meant to do?

Was I meant to make a difference?

Did I not have a purpose?

At the time I truly felt like I had no purpose in being here...I couldn't see what it was I was meant to do.

I didn't feel like I was really going to make an impact in any way, but I also know that I was also in a different place at that time in my life.

I was experiencing a really bad break up, but at the time I had no idea that it was going to shape me into the over the moon happy person I am today.

I had no idea that it was going to throw me head first into my faith and that I was going to experience so much growth with my relationship with God.

That it was going to cause me to truly figure out what I wanted to do with my life and where I wanted to go career wise.

Now, I still don't know the exact direction I want to go career wise with ministry...but I have a better idea now after having spent a week at junior high camp this past week.

It's amazing to me still how much life changes in such a short amount of time.

I of course vlogged about it, because hey...it's what I like to do.

<3

killing time

What do you do when you have time to kill?

I usually hop on Facebook, check my e-mail, check pretty much ALL my social media accounts, and then once I am over all of that I open up a new blog post and stare at the blank screen for how ever long until words come to me.

I don't like to just write about gibberish.

I don't like to vlog about gibberish either.

I want my words and my posts to have substance.

I'm not the best blogger.
I don't post on a consistent basis, but I also don't get as much alone and down time as I probably should.

I constantly feel the need to go, go, go and to constantly be busy doing or working on something.

But sometimes you need to just stop, and have some time for yourself.

Time where you don't have any where to be at any specific time.

Time where you don't have any thing specific to get done.

Time to just simply sit back and reflect on your life.

Time to simply spend with God.

I think time with God is a must or at least should be a must for people.

I know when it comes to me it is a definite must.

Making sure I take time to spend with God is so incredibly important in my life because it keeps my life balanced regardless of how hectic my life gets.

So as long as I get in my alone time with God I feel balanced in the end.

Of course there are times where I just simply feel so overwhelmed with all I have going on and I will have little freak outs or a roller coaster of emotions but when it gets to that place that is when I know that I need to seriously take a minute, take a deep breath and breathe and simply schedule in some "quiet time."

That is what I like to call my God time.

I would be lying if I said that I have been regularly having my quiet time, because in reality I haven't lately.

I've been so wrapped up in work, church, and a social life that I haven't been home unless it is to sleep for maybe 4 or 5 hours.
Usually when I am home I will go up to my room and have my quiet time where I shut my door and shut out all of my distractions so that I can focus on God and I.

Last night was the first time in a few weeks that I have been home before 10pm and where I haven't had anything going on.

Now at first I was bummed out, I left church at around 830pm and just felt this need to try and find something to do but instead I shut my mind up and my restlessness up and decided to go home and truly just relax for the rest of the night.

At first when I got home I went up to my room and just felt super bored and a bit down, and then I started to think about the fact that there are plenty of times when I am at work that I am wishing I could simply just sit in my bed and relax and not have anything to specifically do for a few hours.

So why now am I complaining when I am getting exactly what I have been hoping for?

So are you curious as to what I did last night.
Here let me tell you.
I took a nice shower and I got in bed and simply sat there and relaxed.
I sat back and thought about how much God has been working in my life and about how a year ago I was in such a different place.
I never would have imagined a year ago that I would be where I am today with my faith.
I never would have imagined that I would be so involved with church like I am.
That I would be surrounded by such an awesome group of individuals who all love and want to serve God.

I took time last night to simply thank God for blessing me with all the wonderful opportunities that he has bestowed upon me.
For the people who have become my best friends and who constantly are challenging me and inspiring to grow deeper in my faith. 
For blessing me with the wonderful supportive family that I have.

I also had the time to talk on the phone with a good friend for a while and then I spent some time with my brother.
 Then I called it a night and decided to go to sleep since I had to be up at 5:30am this morning so that I could get my brother to church by 7am.

So now since I have been sitting here at church since 7am waiting to go to the 9am service, I decided it would be the perfect time to sit back, reflect and spend some quiet time blogging.

I'm not gonna lie though...when I first got to church at 7 all I could think was, "What am I going to do with my time for 2 hours until service?" But it has definitely been a much needed 2 hours of just me and my yummy cup of coffee, sitting alone with my lap top in hand letting my words flow from my finger tips.

Couldn't ask for a better start to my Sunday.

<3

Insults & Unicorn Pegasus

Oh hey!

Hey there...

How are you?

You good?

You okay?

Alright, awesome.

So I have had an interesting Thursday so far, and it isn't even over yet.

This morning I was insulted by a complete stranger all before noon.

I went to Starbucks to meet a client, as I was walking in I held the door for a lady walking in behind me. (I may not be a boy but I still hold doors for people...I was raised right haha)

Anyway I went and ordered my coffee and as I got my coffee and went over to the bar area to mix up my drink, the same lady I held the door for was there as well.  She randomly looked at me and started talking to me about how hard it is to find a job and to find a place that is hiring, so I started discussing the current economy with her and how jobs are hard to find now a days and that what is unfortunate is some people who are blessed with having a job aren't that thankful for it and instead complain a lot about their job, when in reality I personally believe..and this is just my opinion...that they should be thankful regardless how horrible their job is at times. (end tangent)

Anyway this then prompted the lady to start complaining about her "evil" supervisor...yes she called her "evil."  Then she dropped a few f-bombs in her sentences, which threw me off a bit because of her age I figured she would be a little bit more tactful...but nope. Any who, as she was talking about her supervisor she for some reason felt the need to describe what she looked like to me...and as she was doing so she said this, "Now she's a big girl...a little bit bigger than you...but her face isn't as 'broke' as yours..."

I literally started laughing and just sat there trying to take in what was just stated to me...."her face isn't as 'broke' as yours....."
WOW!
 I honestly didn't know what to say so I simply just laughed and slowly made my exit as another lady had walked up and started asking her what she was talking about.

SO...I'd call that an eventful morning.  I figure I'm good on insults for the day...so please hold them off until tomorrow, I need some time to get my face fixed since it's "broke."

But for real...
People have no tact anymore.
I would never in a million years tell someone I knew...let alone a complete stranger that their face was "broke," aka: Oh hey by the way your ugly.

All I can do is laugh about it because I find the people of today so entertaining.

So, after receiving my sweet insults for the day I got to work and the first half of work I discussed Unicorns and Pegasus' with our computer guys cute little girl.  She asked me what kind of Unicorn Pegasus I'd like to be and what color I would be, what color horn I'd have, what color dress (because our unicorns wear dresses), and what color my wings would be (I said glitter).
 Seriously I love how innocent and creative children are.
Their worries are so minimal and their minds are just so creative.
 I actually went to lunch with my sister after telling this little girl what color Unicorn Pegasus I'd be and I looked at my sister and said, "Now I wish I was a Unicorn Pegasus."
(You know you're imaging what kind of Unicorn Pegasus you'd be now too.)

Children make you forget about your worries, your daily stresses, pretty much ADULT life...and I think that every one needs to escape like that for a bit.
To just simply forget about all the craziness of this world today and to simply just think about what kind of Unicorn Pegasus you would be.

It couldn't hurt right?
Nope.

But now I am putting aside what kind of Unicorn Pegasus I'd be and I am taking part of my lunch break to simply write this post.
I wish I had more time...well actually I wish I MADE more time to blog. 

I find it so relaxing and once I start typing everything just flows out of my little finger tips.

 Love love love it.

Well I shall be getting back to work, hopefully my Thursday continues to be filled with sweet fun thoughts of Unicorns and Pegasus' verses mean old woman insults.

Au Revoir<3