killing time

What do you do when you have time to kill?

I usually hop on Facebook, check my e-mail, check pretty much ALL my social media accounts, and then once I am over all of that I open up a new blog post and stare at the blank screen for how ever long until words come to me.

I don't like to just write about gibberish.

I don't like to vlog about gibberish either.

I want my words and my posts to have substance.

I'm not the best blogger.
I don't post on a consistent basis, but I also don't get as much alone and down time as I probably should.

I constantly feel the need to go, go, go and to constantly be busy doing or working on something.

But sometimes you need to just stop, and have some time for yourself.

Time where you don't have any where to be at any specific time.

Time where you don't have any thing specific to get done.

Time to just simply sit back and reflect on your life.

Time to simply spend with God.

I think time with God is a must or at least should be a must for people.

I know when it comes to me it is a definite must.

Making sure I take time to spend with God is so incredibly important in my life because it keeps my life balanced regardless of how hectic my life gets.

So as long as I get in my alone time with God I feel balanced in the end.

Of course there are times where I just simply feel so overwhelmed with all I have going on and I will have little freak outs or a roller coaster of emotions but when it gets to that place that is when I know that I need to seriously take a minute, take a deep breath and breathe and simply schedule in some "quiet time."

That is what I like to call my God time.

I would be lying if I said that I have been regularly having my quiet time, because in reality I haven't lately.

I've been so wrapped up in work, church, and a social life that I haven't been home unless it is to sleep for maybe 4 or 5 hours.
Usually when I am home I will go up to my room and have my quiet time where I shut my door and shut out all of my distractions so that I can focus on God and I.

Last night was the first time in a few weeks that I have been home before 10pm and where I haven't had anything going on.

Now at first I was bummed out, I left church at around 830pm and just felt this need to try and find something to do but instead I shut my mind up and my restlessness up and decided to go home and truly just relax for the rest of the night.

At first when I got home I went up to my room and just felt super bored and a bit down, and then I started to think about the fact that there are plenty of times when I am at work that I am wishing I could simply just sit in my bed and relax and not have anything to specifically do for a few hours.

So why now am I complaining when I am getting exactly what I have been hoping for?

So are you curious as to what I did last night.
Here let me tell you.
I took a nice shower and I got in bed and simply sat there and relaxed.
I sat back and thought about how much God has been working in my life and about how a year ago I was in such a different place.
I never would have imagined a year ago that I would be where I am today with my faith.
I never would have imagined that I would be so involved with church like I am.
That I would be surrounded by such an awesome group of individuals who all love and want to serve God.

I took time last night to simply thank God for blessing me with all the wonderful opportunities that he has bestowed upon me.
For the people who have become my best friends and who constantly are challenging me and inspiring to grow deeper in my faith. 
For blessing me with the wonderful supportive family that I have.

I also had the time to talk on the phone with a good friend for a while and then I spent some time with my brother.
 Then I called it a night and decided to go to sleep since I had to be up at 5:30am this morning so that I could get my brother to church by 7am.

So now since I have been sitting here at church since 7am waiting to go to the 9am service, I decided it would be the perfect time to sit back, reflect and spend some quiet time blogging.

I'm not gonna lie though...when I first got to church at 7 all I could think was, "What am I going to do with my time for 2 hours until service?" But it has definitely been a much needed 2 hours of just me and my yummy cup of coffee, sitting alone with my lap top in hand letting my words flow from my finger tips.

Couldn't ask for a better start to my Sunday.

<3

growth and strength thru the past 5 years...

Decided to vlog this entry instead of blogging it. It's easier for me to talk about it than it is to write it.

I'm still in awe at how far I've come in the past 5 years since I lost my momma in 2007.

I cannot express enough how incredibly thankful I am for each and every person in my life.

God has truly blessed me with an awesome support system.

<3