god is so good

Oh Hello!

So lots is going on. Well it may not be a whole lot but it feels like a lot.

So lets begin...

I was suppose to be taking 2 classes this semester, BUT one of my classes didn't have enough students signed up for it so they had to cancel it, which left me with only 1 class on my schedule.
Well with my scholarship that I have I am required to take 6 or more credits, or else they will take away my scholarship. So I looked for another class to sign up for, but since it was so last minute (literally, they cancelled my class on a Friday and school started Monday) I wasn't able to find any classes that were open that would actually apply towards my degree.
So after all of that I just dropped my last class. I was super bummed out because even though school is another amount of stress in my life, I truly enjoy it. I enjoy constantly having things going on, and I also want to be closer to finishing my second degree.

But here is my favorite part of all of this. (I literally get butterflies in my stomach)

God, oh my sweet loving God, had another plan for me since I wouldn't be in school this semester.

Last week I received an e-mail from a new friend of mine, who I actually went to middle school & high school with...but some how we NEVER talked. We have/know a lot of the same people, and yet...we had never met each other until good old Insti (instagram).

Anyway last week I received an e-mail from him saying:

So random question. Have you ever considered being a leader in our Junior High ministry?
I think you'd be really good at it.

Literally so random, and this was my response:

Hey, you really think so? I never really ever thought about it. haha I feel like that takes people who are extremely knowledgeable in the Bible. haha I'd definitely be up for swinging in and check it out.

This is why this is my favorite part of all of this.
Are you ready?
Are you sure?
I hope you are able to handle how awesome God works in peoples lives, especially when you truly just give all your worries and cares to him.

Here we go:

For a few years I have been trying to figure out how to get involved in church. I have wanted to volunteer for the longest time, but I always stopped myself because I was either nervous or I didn't think I would "have time" and I never thought I would be good at it. I thought I wouldn't be good enough. So for a while I pushed the thought out of my mind.

Now for the past 6 months I have been diving deeper and deeper in to my faith and building my relationship with my sweet Jesus more than I ever have. He has walked with me through my darkest days, days where I didn't feel like I could get out of bed, but because he is always by my side I was able to get thru all the ups and downs I have experienced these past few months. With that being said I have also been thinking again about how I want to get involved with the church because I felt like I was growing in my faith but I needed an outlet to be around others who are taking this sweet walk with Jesus. So what did I do? Instead of worrying and stressing over it and doubting myself, I just simply prayed about it.

Now I didn't pray every single day about it, I just prayed when I felt it heavy on my heart. Also my step mom had started to tell me that I should try and get involved in the church some how, and I of course came up with an excuse because I felt scared and doubt in myself, so I stated the typical..."Well ya know I just have SOOOO much going on I doubt I will even have time for that, maybe when my schedule isn't so crazy I will get involved." (bad Ali)

So after that I continued to pray about it, and then I finally decided maybe I just wasn't meant to be involved in the church and that I was suppose to connect with God a different way.

So I let go and figured that I'd just throw myself into school and my photography.

Well God decided, "Oh Ali you don't think you'll have time?...here let me help you out, I'll clear your schedule so you have just the right amount of time & the exact days to volunteer."

I believe God led my friend to e-mail me about getting involved in a ministry that I am truly interested in. I love helping kids and mentoring them. That is one thing I miss so much about my ex. I miss being able to connect with his little sisters who looked up to me and who would come to me when they had questions or problems and I was able to guide them. I made an impact on their lives.

Now God is giving me this wonderful opportunity to mentor and help junior high students grow in their relationship with Him. That is so awesome!

I told my friend who e-mailed me that I truly believe God led him to me and led him to e-mail me about volunteering. I don't think it was random. God had a plan. He had a plan for me to get involved with my Church, and it was when He knew I was ready.

I can tell you this, if I would have gotten involved with my church a few years ago or even a year ago I wouldn't have been ready. I don't think it would have made the impact it is going to make in my life.

I came across this scripture tonight that is beyond perfect for what I am talking about:

For I know the plans I have for you. - Jeremiah 29:11

God knows everything. He knows where my life is headed, he knows how tomorrow is going to play out. He knows how 3 weeks from now is going to go. He knows exactly where I will be 5 years from now.

That is truly hard for people to grasp I think. It is still hard for me to grasp at times, but when things like this happen in my life it reaffirms to me who is in control. Not me. Him. God is in complete control of my life, and I am so thankful.

I am so excited for this new adventure and spiritual growth he has for me. I am excited to be able to impact the lives of young kids who are coming in to their faith, and to be able to connect with them and build a relationship with them to the point that they can come and talk to me with any issues or problems they are facing. As my new friend Shelly would say, "It's seriously the most AWESOME thing ever!" And I couldn't agree more.

Even just after tonight I feel so alive and excited for what is to come.

Tonight I attended the Fuse Groups which is a Jr. High small group gathering.
I was able to sit in on one of the small groups and it was so awesome to witness these young girls talk about their faith and how much they love God and how He is their loving father. How awesome is that?! An 8th grader knows how much God loves her! That fills my heart with an immense amount of joy.

I am extremely excited to see God continue to work in my life and to help me work in these kids lives. I am also excited and thankful for the people God is introducing me to and blessing me with in my life. Even with just the few people I have met who lead in the jr. high ministry makes me excited. It is so awesome to be surrounded by fellow believers and there is just a natural connection with them where I feel so comfortable and as if I have known them for years.

Oh Lord, how you work in such awesome and beautiful ways.

I am so thankful for you and for all that you have blessed me with.
Thank you for standing by my side thru all of my highs and lows. Thank you for holding me tight at times when I have felt so alone. Thank you for sacrificing yourself just so that I could be forgiven. And last but definitely not least, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for placing this wonderful opportunity in my life at just the right time. You are so good. Amen. <3

"Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God"
Ephesians 3:17-19

20 Questions...Round 2

friends?

work in progress

To love means loving the unlovable.
To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable.
Faith means believing the unbelievable.
Hope means hoping when everything seems
Hopeless.

-G.K. Chesterton

I'm working on fully forgiving others & myself. Like truly forgiving them.
Not just saying, hey I forgive you, and then still holding on to the pain and harm they have caused me.

I think if every one was able to truly forgive those who have hurt them or damaged them, and able to forgive themselves for mistakes they've made, then a lot more people would be able to find happiness.
Whether it's happiness with in themselves or with others.

It is something that is going to take time, but I know with God's help I can do anything.

As it states in Philippians 4:13 For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

My absolute favorite though is this sweet passage:

Psalm 103:8-12 The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.

For a thousand years

Christine Perri - Thousand Years

Heartbeats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow
One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this
One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I love you for a thousand more

20 Questions: GO!

Today is the type of day that I just feel kind of blah.

It probably doesn't help that I got little to no sleep last night. I was unable to go to sleep early because my mind was racing with thoughts, and when I finally did fall asleep I kept waking up almost every hour or 30 minutes because I was having a bizarre dream that was scary yet completely unrealistic.

So all day I have felt this knot in my stomach and I've just felt exhausted. When I feel like this it's easy for my emotions to get the best of me. It's so much easier for my sadness to kick in and take over my whole day, leaving me feeling alone and just full of tears.

I am not a fan of this feeling at all. I wish I could banish this feeling away.
I feel worn out from feeling like this, I feel worn out from crying. I feel like I cried enough in 2011 to last me a good year or two, but so far 2012 doesn't agree.

I have been fighting with myself all day trying to pull myself out of this funk that has taken over, but it is as if it's impossible to bring me out of it. I keep trying to think of happy thoughts and things that I am thankful for, but this crappy no good feeling is pretty strong today and it's just not having it with my good happy thoughts. Definitely not making my life easy.

So like always I looked up some scriptures to read to myself to remind me that I am not alone.

Hopefully the more I read them over and over today the quicker this crappy funk will go away.
Here's to hoping.

Deuteronomy 31:8 “It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. ” - Wrapping this verse extra tight around me so that I always am reminded of His love.


Psalm 23
“The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil;
For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD Forever. ” (NKJV)

1 Peter 5:7 “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” (NLT)

Psalm 142: 1- 2, 3a, 4-5
“With my voice I cry out to the LORD; with my voice I plead for mercy to the LORD. I pour out my complaint before him; I tell my trouble before him. When my spirit faints within me, you know my way!

Look to the right and see: there is none who takes notice of me; no refuge remains to me; no one cares for my soul. I cry to you, O LORD; I say, “You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.” ” (ESV)

new year, new beginning

A new year, with a new beginning.
I am going to let go of 2011, mainly the end of 2011, and move forward with my life.

I am grateful for the people who truly love and care for me, the people who have stuck by my side through everything. With the GIANT life change I experienced 4 months ago, I wouldn't have been able to get through it with out my sweet Jesus and my unbelievably supportive family.

I have become so much closer to God and I have grown extremely deep in my faith, that even though I lost the one person I wanted to spend my life with, I wouldn't go back to how disconnected I was in my faith.

GOD has a plan for me. I believe God wanted me to see the things I needed to change in myself so that I treated others better and so that I didn't get so stressed out or upset over things that truly aren't worth the fuss.

I just hope there is a man out there who will love and appreciate me. A man that will love me for me, with all my flaws, all my stresses, all my OCD. A man who won't want to give me up and not fight for me.

And if there isn't a man out there for me, then I know I will be okay.

I don't need a man to make me happy.

All I need is my faith and my family. 2011 definitely showed me that.

So here is to a new year and a new beginning.

<3

new years eve

My new years eve was not too shabby. It started off with me buying a new car finally after having my car totaled in the accident I was in 2 weeks ago. :(

What a better way to end 2011, which has been pretty rough the past few months, by buying myself a new car. :)))

I was able to celebrate New Years with my sister, her boyfriend, & a few of our close friends. For the first time ever I spent New Years down on the strip which was actually a lot of fun, minus the traffic & crazies.

So here's a slight glimpse into how this girl rang in the New Year :)))