Christmas with the McGhie's

Merry Merry Christmas!! This Christmas I was blessed to be able to spend some much needed time with my entire family. My oldest sister drove down from Reno and then her, my other sister and I drove up Friday to pick up my Grandma from Utah to bring her down for Christmas. Once we had the entire family together we went to Christmas service for our Church Friday night. Service was awesome as usual and it was so awesome to witness people coming to Christ that night. Christmas Eve was filled with my step mom and I running around to meet with some clients, and then we stopped at most likely the ONLY garage sale going on in town. ha ha Then we headed home to prep some food that we were bringing over for Christmas Eve dinner at my step grandma's house. We had such a fun time at dinner.
We ate delicious food ranging from sushi, collard greens, to turkey. (I know definitely a WIDE variety) Dinner was filled with so much laughter and then we all gathered to do our yearly tradition of the "Jesus Sock" which is pretty much where we read our old New Years resolutions from the year before and then we write down new ones and put them in the "Jesus Sock." It's so fun to hear what everyone wrote and to see what goals each person has accomplished. I was proud that I actually completed almost all of my resolutions from last year. ::high five::
Then after we did the Jesus Sock, we of course sang lots of karaoke. Lots of loud, off key singing and of course dancing. We of course ended the night with all of us singing "We Are Family."

After dinner we all headed home to decorate stockings, I decorated my stocking by putting the entire family on my stocking and with each name I put a symbol for something that reminds me of them. Then I of course waited to wrap my gifts all LAST minute, I was up until 3am, and then we all woke up at 9ish to open gifts. No Christmas at the McGhie's would be complete with out either mimosa's or baileys and coffee. YUM! Makes opening gifts that much better. :)

This years gifts were extra special. My sisters and I received the best gifts we will ever receive in our life. 4 years ago our mom passed away and when we had to pack up her house and go through all of her belongings we of course had to go through her clothes. We had set aside our favorite pieces of her clothes that brought back memories for us and we had planned to figure out something to do with her clothes so that we could all have a piece of them to remember her by. Little did we know that our dad, our step mom, and our grandma had been trying to find someone who could take our mom's clothes and turn them into quilts for us for the past few years. This year they finally found a wonderful woman who will forever be an angel to me and my sisters. My grandma found her through her hair stylist and she made all of our quilts in just 3 weeks. My sisters and I had absolutely no idea that they had these made for us, so when they had us open our gifts at the same time let's just say we were quite the mess. Tears immediately filled my eyes and I felt so overwhelmed. These quilts will last forever and my sisters and I will now always have a beautiful piece of our momma with us that we can cuddle up tight into and remember all of the good times from our child hood.

To say that this Christmas was just wonderful doesn't quite do it justice. This Christmas was an absolute blessing. I am so blessed to have the family that I have, and to be able to be loved the way I am with them. I wouldn't trade my life for the world. I am so thankful that my Jesus blessed me into this beautiful family with such God loving people. He truly does create miracles, and my family and the love we share is a perfect example of God's miracles. <3

I hope you all had such a beautiful and blessed Christmas<3

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." James 1:17

just a tight hug

Tonight is the kind of night where I am sitting here in bed in tears wishing I could have a tight hug from my mom and her telling me that I am going to be okay and that everything is going to be okay.

I wish you were here momma.
:(

what makes your heart happy

Do you ever step back for a minute or 5 minutes and think to yourself about the things that make your heart happy? From the tiniest, simplest moments to big events?

I feel like most people focus on the negative (I am guilty of this).
I see and hear it every where.
I hear it at the grocery store, at the coffee shop, at work, on the news, on Twitter, at school, LOTS on Facebook.
I get that things happen, big or small, that just plain suck. I know that some times you just want to vent and put your issues or what ever that big or small thing is that sucks out there so others know about it because then maybe others are experiencing it too and then that means you aren't alone.
Trust me...some of my posts ooze negativity or sadness. It's mainly because I struggle with it on a daily basis.
I try my best, after I vent my negative feelings or sad thoughts, to try and find a positive note to leave off on. Whether it's a scripture I've found or just simply reminding myself that God has a plan, that I need to trust in his plan, and I remind myself that even though I feel unwanted, not good enough, broken, sad, depressed, and completely hardened and empty at times...there is always one person who will love me with all my faults, all my mistakes, all my tears, and who will love me always & forever...and that is God. He is so good, and his love for me is so incredibly awesome. I will never be able to understand or conceptualize how much he loves me, and to me that makes me heart so happy to know that I am loved so entirely much.

I want to try and be happy all the time. I know that every one has their ups and downs. But I want to have more ups then downs.
I want to smile more than frown.
I want to not feel a deep knot in my stomach because my heart aches.
I want my heart to feel full.
I want to be able to get a full nights sleep and not be restless.
I want to be able to have multiple entries one after another that are only upbeat and happy thoughts...

All I can say is I am working on it.
I'm working on focusing on things that make me happy whenever I start to feel overwhelmed with sadness or heart ache.
If I start to feel a knot in my stomach I try to think of big or little things that I have to be happy about.

Sometimes though my sadness wins and in my head when I am thinking about things that make me happy, I can hear myself being cynical and mocking what ever it is that makes me happy.
No bueno.

I don't want to be cynical...especially about love and marriage.
I bounce back and forth with being cynical about that stuff.
At times I feel super hopeful and excited for meeting the future man God is going to bestow upon me in my life...and then other times...like tonight at dinner, I am very sour about it. If anyone tries to talk to me about my future and how when I'm married or when I meet a man...I will immediately shut them down with a big ol' "HA" as I roll my eyes and then with out missing a beat I say, "I'm not getting married...ever."
Another saying I say a lot now when talking with family or friends or even clients is, "IF I ever get married...and that's a big IF..." I don't sound bitter or anything right? (ha uh huhhh)

But in all honesty I don't want to feel that way...but I do at times. There are times where I wish I had some one in my life that loved me enough to want to be with me and marry me, and I think about how my life would be if I got married and how happy I'd be.
But then I also think about how I don't know if I want to get married...what if I end up not being wanted again? What if I was to get married and then my "husband" decided to leave me because he didn't love me any more...why put myself through that pain...or even the possibility of that pain?

That last paragraph...is EXACTLY why I want to feel more happy than sad.

That is why I am going to try and just focus on what makes my heart happy...because then all I will mainly have thoughts of are feel good thoughts, and who doesn't love those?

what makes my heart happy:
- my growing relationship with God
- my family
- my grandma's cute songs she sings to me
- my dad's tight hugs
- my sisters and our inside jokes
- my diva d and beaz
- singing music at the top of my lungs while I drive
- music <3
- a delicious tea latte
- coffee bean dates with my oldest sister
- taking lots of pictures, especially silly ones
- the gorgeous drive to Utah
- ice cold water
- cute cheesy movies
- days where the sky is filled with clouds that look like all different sizes of marshmallows
- hot cocoa with extra mini marshmallows...mmm
- walking my pup
- dancing to crazy loud music, regardless if I look like a fool
- sitting by the fireplace listening to Christmas music
- having family time while listening to Christmas music
- decorating our Christmas tree
- our yearly Stocking decorating tradition
- laughing until my sides hurt
- steaming hot showers that make it so all the mirrors are fogged up in the bathroom
- Chanel Chance perfume <3<3<3
- writing, blogging, journaling
- foot rubs
- cuddling up into my bed and watching old movies on netflix
- praying for others every night before I go to sleep
- remembering all the good memories I had with my momma
- looking at pictures of my momma and I when I was little
- french fries
- whole food salads...mmmm
- spicy tuna crunch roll
- snuggles
- scarves
- lots of bracelets
- my fav cheap sparkling wine

those are just a few of the things that make me heart so happy and full.

what makes your heart happy?

What if...

What If...
by: Nicole Nordeman

What if you're right?
And he was just another nice guy
What if you're right?
What if it's true?
They say the cross will only make a fool of you
And what if it's true?

What if he takes his place in history
With all the prophets and the kings
Who taught us love and came in peace
But then the story ends
What then?

But what if you're wrong?
What if there's more?
What if there's hope you never dreamed of hoping for?
What if you jump?
And just close your eyes?
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He's more than enough?
What if it's love?

What if you dig
Way down deeper than your simple-minded friends
What if you dig?
What if you find
A thousand more unanswered questions down inside
That's all you find?

What if you pick apart the logic
And begin to poke the holes
What if the crown of thorns is no more
Than folklore that must be told and retold?

You've been running as fast as you can
You've been looking for a place you can land for so long
But what if you're wrong?

exhausted and beaten down

Late nights have been getting to me a lot lately.

I find that I am unable to sleep, so I go to bed late (like tonight) and I wake up exhausted.
That causes me to feel beat down through out the day, and I think it kicks my emotions in to high gear because I feel a lot more emotional and on the verge of tears. I have had constant highs and lows these past few days.

Today was no different.

I woke up exhausted but I was feeling fine this morning. I felt happy and I was fine as I got ready for work. Then as I was driving to work I started to feel a bit down and the knot like feeling in the pit of my stomach that I thought I had finally gotten rid of after 3 months returned in full force. That led me to start to feel sad and down.
Feelings of being unwanted and not good enough all of a sudden flooded my mind.

I quickly said a little prayer to get rid of the horrible feelings, and after a few minutes I felt a bit better.

As the day went on I was pretty neutral with how I was feeling, but as it started to get later in the day and the "sleepyness" was kicking in even more, I started to feel that knot again in my stomach. Then I started to feel irritable and all of these thoughts and questions started filling my head. I had the feeling to cry sweep through me countless times, but I refused to let any tears leave my eyes. I fight crying now. I hold it in and do what ever it takes to not cry. I know that it's not good...but I am sick of crying, how many more months can I waste crying. It makes me feel weak and pathetic. Especially because what/who I am crying about obviously doesn't feel the same way I do.
I am alone in how I am feeling.
If that person isn't crying over me...then why should I allow myself to cry over them? Why do I even have to cry over them? Why does my heart have to feel the aching that it feels? I am sick of having puffy eyes from crying so much, I'm sick of the dark circles under my eyes that I have to cover up with make up so that I don't feel gross. I'm sick of this constant pain in my chest, feeling as if my heart is going to give out.
Now I don't feel like this all the time, and as time has gone by I start to feel it a little less each day. But then there are days like these past few, where it just becomes overwhelming and I just feel completely overwhelmed and broken and all I want to do is hide from the world and cry until I have not one tear left in me.
But I don't allow myself to do so. Instead I try and change what ever it is I am thinking about or I just simply bite my lip and tough out the wave of emotion that rolls through my body until I feel as if I can take a breath and not instantly cry.

I just feel beat down. I feel defeated in a way.
I feel like it's a constant fight to stay positive and I am constantly battling not thinking about the depressing or painful things that pop into my head. It's a battle to not feel the heart ache I feel. When will it end? When will my heart not feel broken? When will I feel happy all the time, and not just at random times in the day? When will I be able to look or do certain things and not be reminded of the past? When will my heart accept that what my heart wants is simply just that...it is only what my heart wants. It's not what he wants. He's made that perfectly clear. When will I be able to fully accept that so that I can move forward in my life and not hold on to what is no longer there?

I honestly don't know when that will be. I just don't know.

Times and feelings like these are when I reach for the scripture the most.

I really need a GIANT big tight hug from God right now. I need him to hold me extra tight and tell me everything will be okay, that he has a plan for me, and that when he thinks it's time he will reveal it to me.

It's times like these that I really wish I still had my mom too...
I would do anything to have her hug me and tell me how much she loves me and all those sweet motherly things that moms say to their daughters.

But that isn't and never will be a possibility for me.

So I will just have to hold on to this and wrap this scripture tight around me for tonight.

You have sorrow now, but I will see you again; then you will rejoice, and no one can rob you of that joy. - John 16:22

when i get honest

“When I get honest, I admit I’m a bundle of paradoxes. I believe and I doubt, I hope and get discouraged. I love and I hate. I feel bad about feeling good, I feel guilty about not feeling guilty. I am trusting and suspicious. I am honest and I still play games… To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side and the dark. In admitting my shadow side, I learn who I am and what God’s grace means.” - Brennan Manning

I came across this quote the other day and I feel like it described who I am perfectly.
Everything about it is so TRUE.

I believe and I doubt...I hope, yet I get discouraged.

I am truly struggling with believing and doubting a lot lately.

I find myself being hopeful for certain situations lately...and then I find myself feeling extremely discouraged, and especially defeated.

I find myself fighting so hard to stay positive, especially the past few days, but I have been fighting off negative feelings and thoughts that bring me down.

It's a daily battle for me. But the more I grow in my relationship with God, the easier the fight becomes.
These past few months I have truly become so close to my sweet savior, and even though these few months have been filled with so much pain, heart ache, tears, anger, and such sadness...they have also been filled with comfort, love, support, and happiness from those around me and especially from Jesus.
I wouldn't trade these past few months for anything.

Even though I have been so heart broken, weak, hopeless, depressed, disappointed, and broken...I know that I wouldn't have grown in my relationship with God with out having gone through all of this.
We go through trials in our lives because that is simply LIFE.
But God is there with us holding our hands through each and every trial.
You just have to reach out and grab on to his hand and put your faith in Him and know that he has a plan for you, and that as long as you have faith and hope in Him then he won't steer you wrong.

My favorite part though in that entire quote is this:

In admitting my shadow side, I learn who I am and what God’s grace means.

That brings me comfort.
That helps me through each day, especially the rough negative ones.
<3

dear god

Dear God,

I do my best to not ask for much for myself when I pray. Instead I pray for my family,for my friends and people they know, for people I've possibly only met once or a few times, and for people I don't even know. I do my best to pray for others before I pray for myself.
When it comes to praying for myself, all I usually ask of you my sweet Jesus is that you show me what path you want me to go down, and what it is you want for me in my life.

Tonight though I would like to ask for something...

Lord, I pray that when you think the time is right and when you think I am at a place in my life where I am on the path you want, I ask Lord that you bless me with a man that won't break my heart. I pray that you bless me with a man who truly loves me and who would never purposely deceive me. I pray that you bless me with a man who loves you Lord more than he loves me. I pray that you bless me with a man who values you just as much as I value you. I pray that you bless me with a man who is sweet and who communicates with me when there are issues, instead of shutting down and shutting me out. I pray Lord that he loves my family and that he realizes how important my family is to me. I pray Lord that he can make me laugh. I pray Lord that he won't make me cry, at least not on purpose. I pray Lord that he falls in love with my grandma and realizes how much she means to me. I pray Lord that he respects and loves my father. I pray Lord that he makes me feel safe and comforts me when I feel down. I pray Lord that he will know that he wants to marry me. I pray Lord that he will love some of the same things I love Lord. I pray Lord that he will want to go to church with me and that he won't want me to go alone. I pray Lord that no distance will be too far for him to drive for me. I pray Lord that he will love me always and forever. I pray Lord that he will always protect me and never hurt me.

My fear though Lord...is that...that man...doesn't exist.

But what I do know Lord...is that YOU know all things, and I believe that you know the path I am headed down, and you know what is down that path. I believe that even though right now I feel as if their isn't any one out there for me, and part of me feels like I am not meant to have anyone love me...I believe that you have some one for me in my life, and maybe right now isn't the time for them to enter my life yet.

I do know Lord that you answer prayers on your time and when you think it is right.
Not when we as humans think it's right. I need to just learn patience, which will be a challenge because as you know Lord...I am not so patient.

But I do know Lord that you bless people in their lives. I believe that you will bless me with a God loving man some day. I know this because I've witnessed it through a sweet girl that I don't know personally but that I met through blogging.

Her name is Amber Beck, and through reading her blog and reading her story of how she met her husband, it has instilled in me that even though I feel as if Good Men don't exist...her story is a perfect example that they do exist. Her husband is a perfect example that there are good God loving men out there. Their love and relationship with one another is such a good example of how a husband and wife should be, and just how a relationship should be as well.
I feel as if you my sweet Jesus led me to read her story in order to answer my questions of, "Do good men exist? Am I suppose to be alone?" The answer is no. You Lord will bless me with the man you want me to be with when you feel the time is right.

I just need to trust and put my whole heart in to you Lord. I love you Lord.

In Jesus name Amen.

<3 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5-6

once upon a time

Once upon a time
A girl with moonlight in her eyes
Put her hand in mine,
And said she loved me so...
But that was once upon a time...
Very long ago

Once upon a hill
We sat beneath a willow tree
Counting all the stars
And waiting for the dawn
But that was once upon a time,
Now the tree is gone

How the breeze ruffled through her hair
How we always laughed
As though tomorrow wasn't there...
We were young
And didn't have a care
Where did it go?

Once upon a time
the world was sweeter than we knew
Everything was ours
How happy we were then
But somehow once upon a time
Never comes again...

what does love mean...

I received this in an e-mail from my dad, and I thought it was profound that the meaning of love was so simple to these kids.

I think as you get older, you complicate what love is and that makes relationships complicated.

Everyone should try and have the perspective of love like these children do. I know that I am learning new things about love, relationships and trust each and every day, and I apply them to my life and to how I handle different situations now.

What Love means to a 4-8 year old ....

Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouth of babes.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?'

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined See what you think:

'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.

So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'

Rebecca- age 8

---

'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.

You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'

Billy - age 4

---

'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'

Karl - age 5

---

'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'

Chrissy - age 6

---

'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'

Terri - age 4

---

'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'

Danny - age 7

---

'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.

My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss'

Emily - age 8

---

'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'

Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

---

'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'

Nikka - age 6

(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

---

'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'

Noelle - age 7

---

'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'

Tommy - age 6

---

'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'

Cindy - age 8

---

'My mommy loves me more than anybody

You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'

Clare - age 6

---

'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'

Elaine-age 5

---

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'

Chris - age 7

---

'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.'

Mary Ann - age 4

---

'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'

Lauren - age 4

---

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)

Karen - age 7

---

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'

Mark - age 6

---

'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'

Jessica - age 8

---

And the final one

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

food for thought

People tend to get so caught up in life and relationships focusing mainly on the hiccups or errors people make. Yes people make mistakes, yes people fail one another at times, yes NO ONE is perfect, yes people may hurt you at times, some times it's accidental and sometimes it's purposely.

But you are given two choices.
1. You can either forgive them for their failures,hiccups,mistakes,hurtfulness
or
2. You can hold on to it, or tell them that you "forgive them" but you'll "never forget."
Here is the error in that last statement...I'll forgive you but I'll never forget...well in reality...that is not forgiveness at all.
The Oxford English Dictionary defines forgiveness as 'to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offense or debt'.

But, most people, in reality, choose to hold on to all the hurt and/or failures that their significant other, family member, or close friend in their life have done. I personally think that people forget the big picture...we are all human. We are all imperfect, AND sometimes we have unrealistic expectations.
Joel Osteen made such a great point in one of his blog entries I read.
He said, "...even the best people will fail us at times. We have to choose forgiveness because it is not up to anyone in our lives to keep us happy; that is our own responsibility. "

That statement is so unbelievably true, and I feel like every one forgets that. It's no one else's responsibility to make you happy. It's our own responsibility to makes ourselves happy. It's not fair to expect someone else to take on that responsibility. That is an unrealistic expectation. If you think about it...if you aren't able to make yourself happy...how do you expect someone else to be able to make you happy?? And do you think it's really fair to expect that out of them...when you yourself are unable to do so?
The answer is no, it's not fair, and that is what people forget and overlook.


I think that if everyone reminded themselves that saying each time they were upset with their significant other, family member, or close friend that people wouldn't fight or hold on to as much stuff as they do. Relationships wouldn't be as dysfunctional, couples wouldn't fight over petty issues, family members wouldn't argue over insignificant issues. Now some issues may be serious issues...but if you were to take a step back and think about that saying...then I feel like you would be able to think...you know they did this and I feel hurt by it or I am upset by it...but they are human and they aren't perfect and if I approach the situation in a different manner or if I cut them some slack because I don't think it was their intention to purposely do this, then you'd be a lot happier. Couples would be happier, friends would be happier, families would be happier.

Joel Osteen makes another point that so many people overlook or don't even think about. He states:

"The perfect spouse does not exist, We would avoid a lot of
disappointments by simply understanding that no matter how much we
love people, no matter how much they love us, at some point, they
won't live up to our expectations, or they will hurt our feelings in
some way. But when we get our eyes off their shortcomings and on to
Jesus, we open the door for His grace and healing in our
relationships. We open the door for love which is all that matters in
eternity."

The part that stands out the most to me is:
We would avoid a lot of disappointments by simply understanding that no matter how much we love people, no matter how much they love us, at some point, they won't live up to our expectations, or they will hurt our feelings in some way.


How TRUE that statement is. Up until I read that particular post in his blog, I never saw it that way, I never would have come to this realization. These statements he has made have had a huge impact with how I will choose to react and handle situations with my family, friends, and future significant other. I will continue to remind myself that NO ONE IS PERFECT, we are all human and we have flaws, my happiness is MY responsibility and no one else's, any happiness I experience from ANYONE else is a BONUS. I feel like that is how we should all view our relationships. I think a lot more people would be happy, a lot more relationships would succeed, a lot more marriages would last, a lot more families would still be a "family" and not a divided one, a lot more friends would still be friends and not enemies. How much easier do you think relationships would be? I personally think they would be a lot easier and people would be a lot happier.

It's just some food for thought.

the perfect insight...joel osteen

I have become a big fan of Joel Osteen these past couple of months. His insight and words always seem to speak to me at the perfect time. I recently was on his blog and I came across some of his entries and I pulled different parts of different topics off to share because I have found them so real and comforting, especially with how I've been feeling lately.

"Remember, as believers in Jesus, we are His body, His hands and feet in the earth. We are His voice; we are His representatives. Look for ways to encourage the people around you even if you are the one who needs encouragement. Like seeds, those words of life go out and then a harvest of blessings returns in your own life. Keep speaking, keep loving and keep honoring God with your words and actions and let Him pour out His love and blessing in your own life in return!"

"The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you—they are full of the Spirit and life" (John 6:63, NIV).



John 15:13 tells us that "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). This scripture is talking about the ultimate sacrifice that Jesus made to pay the price so that we can spend eternity with Him, but every day we have the opportunity to "lay down" ourselves for the people in our lives. Making sacrifices and giving to others of our time, abilities and resources is how we show our love. It's easy to get wrapped up in the day-to-day activities of life. Most people spend their days maxed out, but we have to make the effort to communicate our love to our family and friends.


MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE BLOG POST OF HIS, definitely hits home for me right now:

Everyone goes through difficulties and painful situations in life. In fact, scripture tells us that in this world we will have tribulations and trials. I’ve heard it said that the life of faith is not about the absence of problems, but the presence of power—God’s power at work in us leading us to the place of wholeness and victory. He promises to take those things that the enemy meant for evil and turn them around for our good. It says in Romans 8 that He causes all things to work together for our good because we love Him.
In his book, The Heart Revolution, my friend, Sergio De La Mora puts it this way: “Without God’s perspective, we miss out on some of His greatest lessons found in this tension between joy and tribulation. Think of a car battery. It fulfills its purpose through its power that comes from both a positive and a negative current running through it. When a car battery runs out of power, we give it a jump-start by hooking up both the positive and negative cables. The tension of joy and tribulation in our lives works the same way. We need both positive and negative currents to energize our purpose and call.”
Today, I want to encourage you, no matter what you may be facing, no matter what you may have been through in the past, God is not the author of destruction; He is the author of life and peace. He didn’t bring that difficulty into your life, but He can use it to launch you forward into your destiny. John 16:33 tells us that even though we have challenges, we can be of good cheer because He has overcome the world and deprived it of power to harm you. When you put your hope in God, you will never be disappointed! Keep your heart and mind open to Him, keep meditating on His Word, and let Him revolutionize your heart and life!



Last but not least a very good insight on relationships and the set expectations we go in with:

"People enter relationships with set standards and expectations. When people do not meet the standards we set, we become disenchanted with the relationship, allowing disappointment and frustration to set in. It's easy to get along with people when everything is going great and others are acting exactly the way we want them to. But what happens when something goes wrong and our feelings get hurt? If you're not careful, you'll begin to focus on the unmet expectations which will affect your attitude, and ultimately, your relationship.

But it doesn't have to be that way if we will just learn to have realistic expectations and let people off the hook. We can avoid a lot of heartache by simply giving people room to be human. We have to accept the fact that nobody is perfect, and even the best people will fail us at times. We have to choose forgiveness because it is not up to anyone in our lives to keep us happy; that is our own responsibility. Too often, we want our mate to cheer us up when we are down; we expect our partner to always be loving and kind. We expect our boss to recognize our hard work and our friends to always be there for us. But those are unrealistic expectations. The perfect spouse does not exist, nor does the perfect boss, nor the perfect friend. We would avoid a lot of disappointments by simply understanding that no matter how much we love people, no matter how much they love us, at some point, they won't live up to our expectations, or they will hurt our feelings in some way. But when we get our eyes off their shortcomings and on to Jesus, we open the door for His grace and healing in our relationships. We open the door for love which is all that matters in eternity."

utah round two

Hello Sunday!

Yesterday I decided last minute that I was going to drive up to Utah for a couple of hours again and surprise my Gram Cracker. I just can't get enough of her and I love the look on her face when she comes to the door and sees that it's me.

She always makes me feel wanted and loved and I would drive the 2 hours it takes to get to her house every day if I could. She is the happiest person I know and when I am feeling down or just having a bad day, she turns it right around.

I took some video of her singing my favorite songs that she sings to me when she leaves me voicemails. These videos will be such a treasure as I grow older and especially when she is no longer around. Oh I don't know what I will do with out her. I love her oh so so much! I am so blessed.

<3


off to Utah

almost there

pulled over on the back road to take some photos :)




my favorite part of the back road



Our Mountain <3


"Oh my God, you little shit!"

love of my life





"If I Say I Love You"


"Hut Sut Roll"


funny faces with gram cracker


headed back to Vegas

driving the back road at night is an adventure

moon

hello Vegas

she was so happy I was home

future mission...

A few days ago I came across a blog of a Christian woman missionary. I read a few of her posts and felt as if God was tugging at my heart to read more. As I continued to read on I noticed at the top of the page there was a headline box that said: We Make Missions Possible, Join us in 2012.

I again felt God tugging on my heart to click the link. So I did.

I was then brought to a website called Adventure in Missions. I went and read what they were about and the more I read the more I started to feel this fire in me start to burn. I want to experience what these people experience...I want to minister to people who don't know God...I want to worship with them.
The more I read the more I yearned to want to be a part of all of this. I then found the types of missions offered, the different lengths of time you can go on one, the countries you can go to, the specific mission you will be given. I specifically was drawn to the mission to be accomplished in Thailand. They go to Thailand and focus on the women snared in prostitution. They listen to the women's stories and they share God with them.

I looked at the different lengths of time you would be on your mission and the option is either 9 days or 11 months. 11 months!! How selfless of an act and what an awesome growth experience one would have.

After looking at the website for over an hour I went back to work...but ever since all I have thought about is that woman's blog and the missions being offered. I truly think I have a deep desire to go on a mission...I've never even thought of ever going on a mission.
I currently have nothing tying me down...nothing holding me back...so why not?
I talked with my dad about it and I told him I was pretty sure I wanted to do it but that I would need to take the next semester off so I could save up, plus I'd leave for my mission while school was still in session so I'd miss final exams. As we talked he told me how it would be an awesome experience and he suggested I pray about it to God. He told me to ask God what it is he wants me to do. So that is exactly what I will be praying ever single night. I know God will show me what it is he wants for me in my life. I'm excited to see what God has in store for me in the next few months.
:)

seeking strength

2 Corinthians 12:9

9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

Oh how I need to repeat this verse to myself all day today.

Today my sister got some news that has our entire family worrying and stressed out.
It hasn't fully sunk in for me, but it's peaked out through out the day.
One minute I am normal, the next my eyes are welling up with tears.

Today I need to truly TRUST in the Lord.
I need to place all of my trust, all of my worries, all of my fears into him.
It's so much easier said than actually done.
I need to not stress, not fear, not worry.
I have no control of what is going to happen.
All I can do is pray.

Pray, Pray, Pray

Earlier I found myself feeling as if maybe if I had prayed more things would be different.
I asked myself...Did I not pray enough? Did I not believe in my prayer enough?
I know that that is not the case.
I know that God heard my prayers...he just possibly has a different plan in mind.
Time will only tell, but I will continue to pray my prayer for my sister.

I need to be strong for my sister, and hope for the best.
A good friend of mine said that to me when I told them I was scared.
That's all I've heard in my head since.
When I feel like crying or I feel stressed and fearful...I just hear in my head:
"Hope for the best."
It is truly all I can do.
All I can do is hope for the best for my sister.
and I will hope for the absolute very best.
and
I will repeat that verse to myself over and over while we get through this.

Amen.