My church is doing a 30 day series called "Torn" and my family and I started our small group back up so that we can be a part of the series. We meet for the first time this coming Sunday and I am really looking forward to it.
I feel like this experience is going to help me grow deeper in my faith and bring me closer to God. With all that has been going on in my life the past month and a half, I feel like this series is God's way of speaking to me and helping me heal through this rough time in my life.
Today I started my reading for our weekly discussion. I was 2 days behind on beginning my reading, so tonight I did all my reading for the 2 days I missed and for day 3.
Right before I started reading I asked God to open my heart and let me take in all that he wants me to get out of this experience. I asked him to guide me and to speak to me thru this journey.
As I was reading I found myself re-reading certain parts in the book and then I was grabbing my highlighter and highlighting those sections or sayings. This whole series is hitting very close to home for me right now, especially because currently I have been feeling extremely "torn."
This whole "torn" series is based around the times in your life that you experience darkness that leaves you wondering if you will ever find "normal" again or look toward the future with hope. In the readings that our pastor wrote, he explores people's questions as well as God's answers, and God's mysteries. I truly feel as if this whole series is taking place at the perfect time and place in my life, because I have been one of those people that is currently experiencing darkness and questions if I will ever look toward my future with hope. I've noticed the more I immerse myself into my relationship with my Jesus and the more I look to him and lean on him and put my trust in him, the more hopeful I feel. I feel happier, I feel as if I will get thru this "season" in my life. My Jesus gives me hope, especially because the love that he has for me is unlike any love I will ever experience from any person in my life. It's overwhelming and hard to even understand that my God loves me so much that he sent his son Jesus to die for me and my sins. God is extraordinary and he is so good. His love is unlike any love anyone will ever experience and I am so thankful for his love for me.
Here are a few parts that stuck out to me in my reading tonight:
Does why bring healing? Does why bring closure? Rarely. Why keeps you in the past and blocks you from moving forward. Why keeps you stuck in the pain and chokes out the potential to heal.
Healing is found in worship.
Paul says, "We can rejoice...when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation."
Trust God's promises. Trust him even in the darkest hour, and worship him. He is in the lead, holding out his hand for you to follow him. He may lead you through the valley of the shadow of death, but he won't leave you there.
^ That last part is so true. It leaves me with such a comforting feeling, a sense of peace.
I will not try and fix my problems on my own, I will hand then over to Him and put all my faith in to Him.
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